October 30, 2016
Having a mustache can be a messy business. For example; eating an ice cream cone. If your mustache is untamed most of the time hairs between your nose and your upper lip are irregular in length, sometimes wild and curly, going and growing their own way. Put an ice cream cone under that nose and take a few licks.
Inevitably, the slightly solid, deliciously flavored treat will soon be liquid, and will decorate your hair in a nano second of the first lick. Depending on how delicately you manage to use your tongue, you may, or may not, avoid a meshing of the two.
There are those who have practiced this activity with various results. Some men may have a long and thin tongue with dexterous and limber muscles that navigate this challenge with ease. Good for them.
Then there are individuals of the rather nerdy persuasion who have a high degree of OCD, but loathe the inescapable mixture of ice cream and hair. For them it is a principle of neatness and ice cream desire mixed together. They have, through much practice, found a way to enjoy the cone without a mess of any kind on their precious and prideful facial decoration. Congratulations on your excellent accomplishment.
A third group with sub-categories also exists. Yours truly proudly ranks in the lowest group of these ice cream cone lovers. Those in the highest group takes their cone, grab a multitude of napkins, or possibly a large, oversized, handkerchief, and proceeds to devour the large, sweet tasting delightful, melting mess with no holds barred, wiping their ‘stache occasionally with the napkins or ‘kerchief, and consuming the afore mentioned after meal treat with as few licks, bites, and slurpings as possible. Usually, when they finish, there is a long, loud drawn out; “AHHHH!” as they wipe their ‘stache, lips, and chin with delight.
This lover of ice cream, if and when an ice cream cone is presented to him, gives it the once over quickly, and sizes up the best method of attack. Most times there is no getting around it; the ‘stache is gonna take a hit.
If it is a tall cone one can start at the base, with the tongue extended as far as possible, to minimize contact with the hair, and work one’s way up to the top of the cone. A smaller cone can be surrounded by the mouth and depending on how well the mustache is trimmed, insert the whole top of the cone in the mouth and suck it slowly gathering ice cream into the throat and eating it that way.
If that is not possible, another method is grabbing napkins and wiping the ‘stache with every lick. This too is not satisfactory to enjoyment, as the concern centers on keeping the mustache free of ice cream debris.
Finally there is the escape method. As everyone with you orders their cone, you wait and are the last one in line and politely ask the server; “Can I have a small cup instead of a cone, and a spoon?” Problem solved, enjoyment maximized. End of story.
Needless to say, but saying it anyway. This writer is a lover of ice cream. It takes the place of alcohol, and is a cherished treat of long standing. Have gone through many favorite flavors in the years gone by, one has mixed feelings about them. Initially vanilla with too much chocolate syrup was the first venture into the world of ice cream delights.
Other flavors came as one grew into maturity ranging from cookie dough, to mint with chips, pistachio, moose tracks and vanilla/chocolate swirl, and a few other exotic flavors that did not last the test of time. Moose tracks is the actual favorite, but the price is too high for the low amount of package received. Ah, ice cream, a valued treat forever savored.
I am grateful for your visit. Thank you.